


Three Minute Love Games

by finkpishnets



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-31
Updated: 2010-07-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finkpishnets/pseuds/finkpishnets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They all go speed dating. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Minute Love Games

**Author's Note:**

> For the inception_kink prompt: where the team don't know each other, and end up all attending a both-sex speed dating session. Pure and utter ridiculousness.

Robert really wishes he knew how his life ended up this way. If you had asked him in college what he’d be doing five years from now, he would have said working at a fortune five hundred company or working for a charity that builds school and hospitals in third world countries. He would never have said running speed dating nights at a local hotel bar.

But he just _had_ to go ‘be his own man’.

His father was right; he _is_ an idiot.

“Good evening everyone,” he says, fixing a smile on his face and giving the room a glance. A small crowd but an attractive one. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be a complete disaster. “You have your numbers and your check sheets, and remember, you only have three minutes to get to know each person. Have a good night.”

He really needs a drink.

Maybe it’s not too late to pack this in and go to Africa.

 

+

 

“Hi,” she says, smiling at the man who sits down opposite her. “I’m Ariadne.”

“Dom,” he says, smiling, “Dom Cobb. So Ariadne, what do you do?”

“I’m an Architecture student,” she says. “How about you?”

“I’d say but it’s not strictly legal,” he smirks and she laughs. “So, Architecture. How are you liking it?”

 

+

 

“Hi there,” the guy wearing the hideous orange shirt says, sitting down and offering Arthur a wide grin. “I’m Eames.”

“Arthur,” he says, and offers his hand, pulling it back quickly when Eames kisses it instead.

“And what do you do?” Eames asks flirtatiously.

“I kill people with my bare hands.”

“Excellent,” Eames says, looking delighted. “Now tell me, do you know how to handle a gun?”

 

+

 

“He doesn’t look too happy,” Yusuf says, nodding towards the attractive young man in the suit who’s currently glaring at his grinning companion.

“No,” the Japanese man in the expensive suit, Saito, agrees. “I wonder why he’s here.”

“Why are any of us?” Yusuf says, shrugging.

“True,” Saito says. “True.”

 

+

 

“Hello,” she says, her eyes sparkling. “I’m Mal.”

 _Marry me_ , he thinks.

“Dom,” he says.

“Well Dom, do you believe in fate?”

 

+

 

“Are you old enough to be here?” Eames says, and then gives her an exaggerated wink. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, just making sure.”

Ariadne rolls her eyes. “Yes I’m old enough.”

“Wonderful. Now, see that guy over there? The one in the suit who looks like he needs a good tumble? What do you think the chances are of his going home with me tonight?”

Ariadne looks between the two guys and considers it.

“Twenty bucks he won’t,” she says eventually, and Eames grins, honestly this time.

“You’re on.”

 

+

 

“Do you suppose this evening will amount to anything?” Mal says, glancing around the room and crossing her legs elegantly in a way that makes Ariadne feel like a child.

“Dom can’t keep his eyes off of you,” she says, “so I think you’re good at least.”

“Hm,” Mal says, and the way she smiles makes Ariadne blush. “I’m sure your night will be equally successful.”

 

+

 

“Hi, I’m Dom,” he says sitting down and shaking the hand that’s offered to him.

“Saito.”

Pause.

“So,” Dom says after a minute.

“Yes, so,” Saito agrees, straightening his tie.

“Do you…like…sports?” Dom says.

“No. Now, would you like to talk about the French woman you have already fallen in love with?”

Dom sighs.

“Oh God yes.

 

+

 

“…and then she said ‘that sounds like something my priest would say’.”

Yusuf props his head in his hands, laughing so hard he can barely breathe, and Eames has to pound his back to stop him choking.

“Want to take a bet on whether or not I can persuade that guy over there to go home with me?” he says after a while, and Yusuf starts laughing again.

 

+

 

“Arthur!” Dom says, grinning. “Hi.”

“I can’t believe you made me do this,” Arthur says. “You owe me big time.”

“Oh come on,” Dom laughs, “it’s not that bad. Haven’t you met anyone you like?”

“No one I’d be interesting in sleeping with. Actually, let me rephrase that; no one I’d be interesting in sleeping with that you haven’t already practically proposed to.”

Dom blushes.

“Have you met Ariadne, the Architect student?” he says.

“Not yet.”

“There you go!” Dom says, punching him cheerfully in the arm. “The night’s not over.”

“Please go away now,” Arthur says, and Dom grins and then quickly does as he’s told before things get violent.

 

+

 

“Ariadne, right?” Arthur says, and she seems like she’s probably the most normal person in the room. He wonders if tonight’s as embarrassing for her as it is for him.

“Right,” she says, and then offers him a conspiratorial smile. “Did you know the guy in the orange shirt’s taking bets on whether he can get you to go home with him?”

Arthur freezes.

“I’ll kill him.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Ariadne says, grinning. “I reckon it could be fun.”

 

+

 

“Thank you everyone for coming this evening,” Robert says, wishing the blonde at the bar hadn’t been so insistent on telling him her life story and he’d been able to get in a couple more glasses of whisky. “I hope you found it worthwhile and enlightening. Please, make sure you’ve written your own number at the top of your card and ticked the correct boxes. We’ll tally them up and then give you a sheet containing the numbers of the people who ticked your name too. Until then, please enjoy a complimentary glass of champagne.”

 

+

 

“How much are you down for?” Arthur says, finding him talking cheerily with Yusuf, the chemist.

“Sorry?” Eames says, and Arthur glares when he gives him a slow, searching look.

“The bet you’ve been running all night?”

“Ah,” Eames says, looking unapologetic. “That. You should be flattered, darling.”

Arthur quirks an eyebrow.

“We could always share the take?” Eames says, and, okay, so he may be charming and attractive beneath his horrible fashion sense, but Arthur’s not falling for any of it.

Really.

“So,” Eames says, leaning against the bar and offering him a suggestive smirk. “Shall we?”

“Fuck it,” Arthur says, downing his drink. “Why not.”

 

+

 

“I think your friend just left,” Mal says, and Dom sighs.

“Yeah, he didn’t really want to come in the first place.”

“Ah, well, he must have changed his mind. He just left with the Englishman.”

Dom blinks.

“Right,” he says. “Aren’t we supposed to wait for the lists to come back?”

Mal smiles. “I don’t suppose it matters if you already know who it is you have a connection with.”

“Yeah,” he says. “So, hey, I know a fantastic Italian place a couple of blocks away. Care to join me?”

“I’d love to,” she says, linking her arm through his.

 

+

 

“It seems everyone else is leaving,” Saito says, swirling his whisky around the glass.

“Yeah,” Yusuf says. “Shame, I was hoping Eames would finish that story about his aunt and the llamas.”

“Hm. I don’t suppose you’re a gambling man? I know of a poker game that should be under way.”

“Sure,” Yusuf says, grabbing his coat. “Tonight was a bit of a dud anyway.”

 

+

 

“Where’d everyone go?” Robert says in confusion when he gets back with the cards.

Number six - Ariadne - shrugs from where she’s perched at the bar.

“I think they all found their matches,” she says. “You should be pleased.”

Roberts sighs. “Great. So, how about you?”

“Well, I think I made a few new friends so it wasn’t a complete disaster.”

“That’s good,” he says.

“So, why speed dating?” she asks, taking a sip of her drink. “Are you a hopeless romantic?”

“No,” he says. “I’m an idiot.”

She laughs. “Ah. So, you’ve never considered giving it a shot yourself?”

Robert grins. “No, I prefer asking someone out the old fashioned way.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

He smiles, takes in the way her hair falls around her shoulders and her eyes glimmer in amusement.

“I don’t know,” he says, “care to go to dinner and find out?”


End file.
